Bedroom Culture
A dark stage. As the lights come up, we see the outlines of three beds, and two people lying in each bed.
Bed One contains Couple 1 - Man 1 and Woman 1. Bed Two, Couple 2 – Man 2 and Woman 2. And finally Bed Three houses Couple 3 – Man 3 and Woman 3.
Spotlight on Bed 1.
Midday
A typical post-coital mess; clothes and shoes thrown everywhere.
MAN 1 and WOMAN 1 lie half asleep in an unmade bed. Though physically close, there is a feeling of distance between them.
MAN 1: (sleepily, starting to wake up) We should get up
WOMAN 1: (distant) Mmm
MAN 1: We could go to that cafe on the main street, get some breakfast?
WOMAN 1 : I’m not really hungry
MAN 1: (sitting up, fluffing out his hair) Well I am! I’m staaarving!
WOMAN 1: (groans and rolls over) I’m tiiired.
MAN 1: Come on (poking her)
WOMAN 1: (from under the duvet) Do I have to?
MAN 1: Nahh, you don’t have to. But I will poke you until you do (pokes and tickles her, laughing)
WOMAN 1: (Squirming and laughing) No! No, stop it! Get off me! I’m up, I’m up! Okay? Stop!
MAN 1: Fine, I’ll stop. (Sees she’s lying down again) You do have to actually get up and get out of bed though
WOMAN 1: Awww I don’t want to! Can’t we stay here all day? (moves slightly closer to him)
MAN 1: (senses this, but is wary of her) Yeah, we could do that. But it’s a nice day out! We’ll miss the sun, staying in here all day, like bloody vampires!
WOMAN 1: (squinting towards the window) Urgh. You call that sun? It’s freezing!
MAN 1: (teasing) Alright, Miss Africa 2010! Sorry it’s not up to what you’re used to! But it’s all I can offer you right now. Will it do?
WOMAN 1: Urghh... (slides back under the duvet)
Spotlight switches to Bed 2. MAN 2 and WOMAN 2 both sit up in bed, wearing reading glasses. MAN 2 reads a paperback. Papers and notes are strewn all over WOMAN 2’s side of the bed. She refers to them in turn while busily making notes in her diary, mumbling to herself. MAN 2 is silent and seems to not acknowledge her.
Spotlight switches back to Bed 1
MAN 1: You can wrap up if you like! Layers; hats, gloves, that ugly scarf you brought back (she hits him with a pillow) You’ll blend right in, with everyone out there in shorts and t-shirts!
WOMAN 1: Fine. So I have to get up AND eat?!
MAN 1: (good naturedly) Yes, you do. Otherwise I’ll find myself a new, nicer girlfriend, who lets me eat whenever I like!
WOMAN 1: (starting to get up) As if. (hits him again with the pillow, teasingly) Who would have you but me?!
Spotlight moves to BED 3
An elderly couple sit up in bed. Both wear reading glasses and are reading paperback books. WOMAN 3 dozes into her book. MAN 3 reads, occasionally looking at his wife fondly.
MAN 3: (pointing to his book) Have you read this, dear? Apparently men and women are from different planets! Haha! Have you ever heard anything like it?! Dear? (nudges her)
WOMAN 3: (waking, startled) Hmm? What?
MAN 3: You tired, dear?
WOMAN 3: A little, yes
MAN 3: You shouldn’t have done all that gardening this afternoon. You should take it easy
WOMAN 3: I’m not an invalid yet, dear.
MAN 3: I know that, my love, but you really shouldn’t be straining yourself. Especially after...
WOMAN 3: (cuts him off, angrily) I’m perfectly well, thank you dear...
MAN 3: (confused) But the other day, you...
WOMAN 3: (cuts him off again, sharply) Well I was having a bad day! That’s all. Nothing the matter with me, just a bad day.
MAN 3: (sighing, adjusting his glasses) I wish you’d listen to me sometimes...
Spotlight moves back to Bed 2.
WOMAN 2: So. I’ve sorted out the venue for Jack’s party, that lovely little Italian place in town, you know, the one I told you about? (MAN 2 grunts his acknowledgment) With the... fairy lights and the room upstairs? Well I haven’t seen the room upstairs but Kate told me it was great when she hired it for Beca’s 21st, so it should be lovely. So we’ve got your mother coming on Friday, we’ll need to sort the spare room, and we’ll all go to watch Lydia’s hockey match in the morning, then get ready for the party. (to MAN 2) You’ll be there, won’t you?
Spotlight on BED 3
WOMAN 3: (steadily) I am listening to you. I just don’t agree with you.
Spotlight on BED 2
MAN 2: (without looking up from his book, confused) Where?
WOMAN 2: (slowly, as if speaking to an idiot) Lydia’s hockey match! I told you about it last week! On the Common. Everyone’s going, including you!
MAN 2: (without looking up from his book, confused) Where?
WOMAN 2: (slowly, as if speaking to an idiot) Lydia’s hockey match! I told you about it last week! On the Common. Everyone’s going, including you!
MAN 2: How can I go, I’ll be at work won’t i?!
WOMAN 2: (even slower, more agitated) It’s Saturday morning!
WOMAN 2: (even slower, more agitated) It’s Saturday morning!
MAN 2: (still confused, goes back to his book) Oh, of course.
WOMAN 2: Though, you should really book Friday off, so you can be home when your mother gets here, and you know she’ll want to go out walking before dinner, and I’ll be so stressed sorting out the party things, and getting things ready for the morning that I won’t be able to deal with her on my own!
MAN 2: (sighing) I can’t just book days off willy-nilly, love. Someone has to pay for this party of Biblical proportions!
WOMAN 2: I know, love but it would be so nice to have you there. Try? (lays a hand on his arm affectionately. He turns to look at her hand, mildly startled by her affection. A look passes between them, as if affection has not occurred between them in a while. He looks away and the moment passes. He turns back to his book with a sigh)
MAN 2: I’ll try. Not promising anything.
Spotlight switches back to BED 1
WOMAN 1: (rolls out of bed and starts picking up clothes) I’m first in the shower though (keeps scrabbling for items on the floor)
Spotlight switches to BED 2
WOMAN 2: (looks at him for a long time) You always say that (tries to make a joke out of it but her sadness shows) Sometimes it would be really.... nice if you could promise something.
Spotlight switches back to BED 1
MAN 1: (trying to pull her back) Not if I follow you in... (she pushes him away, looks stressed) What?
WOMAN 1: (furiously hunting) I’ve... I can’t find it
MAN 1: What have you lost?
WOMAN 1: (urgently) My bracelet! Where is it?
MAN 1: (yawning) What bracelet?
Spotlight to BED 3
MAN 3: What more can I do?! I’m only concerned about you!
WOMAN 3: You don’t need to be ‘concerned about me’! I’m perfectly well!
MAN 3: For now.
Spotlight switches to BED 2.
MAN 2: (exasperated) What do you want me to do? Do you want me to quit my job?!
WOMAN 2: Don’t be stupid.
MAN 2: Well then what?! What can I do, that would make you happy? What would get you off my back?
WOMAN 2: Just be there for me a bit more! Support me!
Spotlight switches to BED 1
WOMAN 1: (angrily) It’s just a bracelet! That I always wear! Where is it?
MAN 1: (confused) Do you? I’ve never seen it.
Spotlight on BED 3
WOMAN 3: (after a pause) I hope, dear, you didn’t just say what I think you said...?
MAN 3: Well, can you blame me?! We’re not getting any younger...
WOMAN 3: (trying to make a joke) Speak for yourself!
MAN 3: I’m being serious!
WOMAN 3: Deadly. Obviously.
Spotlight switches to BED 2
MAN 2: (cutting her off) When have I not supported you?!
WOMAN 2: You’re never around! You miss things; you’re not there for the kids...
MAN 2: That isn’t true...
WOMAN 2: It is! You missed Lydia’s parents evening...
MAN 2: What? I was in Germany! I couldn’t exactly hop on a plane in a the middle of a meeting with the head of the materials company to get back in time to hear the ground-breaking news that my daughter (creates mocking quotation marks) ‘is a little too lively in class’, now could I?! Oh he’d have thought I was really professional then!
WOMAN 2: (calmly, ignoring this outburst) You didn’t make it to Jack’s last rugby game of the season.
MAN 2: (angry and bewildered) He told me not to come!
Spotlight switches to BED 1
WOMAN 1: Yes I do! You don’t know it, it’s... it’s new!
Spotlight back to BED 2
WOMAN 2: And since when do you listen to him?! He did want you there, he was devastated that you weren’t there to see them win
MAN 2: I’m not a mind reader!!
WOMAN 2: No, you are not! You have no idea what goes on around here when you’re not here!
MAN 2: (mocking) Oh, I’m sorry. That information wasn’t included in one of your neat little notes that you love to leave all over the place, so I didn’t receive that memo.
Spotlight on BED 3
MAN 3: (darkly) Don’t.
WOMAN 3: What is it? What are you afraid of? It has to happen sometime!
MAN 3: (shuffling his book, changing the subject) You don’t sleep enough, that’s your trouble. Always dozing, never getting a proper sleep.
Spotlight on BED 2
WOMAN 2: Of course, I’m to blame...
MAN 2: Well maybe if you spoke to me like a human being more often, instead of treating me to a staged reading of one of your lists, I would know what was happening here!
WOMAN 2: I was trying to let you know what was happening with the party...!
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: Well then, babe, it can’t be that important...
Spotlight on BED 2
MAN 2: (cutting her off) It’s just a party, it isn’t that important...
WOMAN 2: (cutting him off) It is important! It’s important to me!
Spotlight on BED 1
WOMAN 1: (really angry) It is important!
WOMAN 1: (realises, checks herself) It’s important... to me... I want it back
Spotlight on BED 3
WOMAN 3: I’ve not slept through the night in years. Not since we had the children.
MAN 3: I never could when they lived here. I’d lie awake all night, listening for the faintest sound. Them waking up. Or being ill. Or coming in late. Or coming in late and being ill. (laughs) I miss all that now.
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: Well, what does it look like?
WOMAN 1: (distracted by looking for it) What does it matter?! It’s my bracelet, I’ve lost it!
MAN 1: (patiently) Babe, if you tell me what it looks like, I can help look! Is it silver, or gold?
Spotlight on BED 2
MAN 2: (stares at her, slowly) It’s a birthday party. For Jack. Just like any other birthday party he’s ever had, every year, since he was born. It isn’t a big deal, love.
Spotlight on BED 1
WOMAN 1: It’s red, and blue, and yellow, and purple, beads that are shiny and... (lost in thought)
Spotlight on BED 2
WOMAN 2: (close to tears) It is. It is important. I... I wanted everyone together this time. We’re never all in the same place at once.
MAN 2: You’re being silly...
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: (tears across her thoughts) What, that little kid’s friendship bracelet?
WOMAN 1: (her eyes flash with anger and sadness. She calms down) Yes. Have you seen it?
Spotlight on BED 3
WOMAN 3: Mmm. I miss having a full house.
MAN 3: An empty house and we’re still lying awake. Listening.
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: Might have (reaches down the side of the bed) Is this what you’re looking for?
WOMAN 1: (sees the bracelet, snatches it) Yes! Yes, that’s it! (stares at it, then at him) Why did you hide it?!
Spotlight on BED 2
WOMAN 2: It’s true. We’ve not had a party with all of us there for a long time.
MAN 2 : (after a pause, thoughtful) Sometimes life gets in the way...
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: I didn’t! I took it off you when you fell asleep...
Spotlight on BED 3
WOMAN 3: I never could sleep. Not for years. I could never get comfortable. Never felt at peace.
Spotlight on BED 1
WOMAN 1: (suddenly) Why?!
MAN 1: ... so you wouldn’t lean on it and break it in your sleep, if you let me finish. Jeez, just trying to help!
WOMAN 1: (sitting back down in the bed) Sorry. Sorry, I know. Thank you (offers him no affection. Continues to stare at the bracelet)
MAN 1: (Weary, trying to look at it over her shoulder) Let’s have a closer look then. I wasn’t really in a state to look at it when I took it off you...! (she doesn’t laugh)
It’s... its pretty, really. Did you buy it in Africa?
WOMAN 1: (without taking her eyes off the bracelet) Someone gave it to me. A... a friend. I met them the first week I was there, and they gave it to me, as a welcome gift. H... they made it
MAN 1: (looking closer) Ohhh yeah, I can see it now. It’s all laced together and that. That’s clever, that is. Better than ones you can buy.
WOMAN 1: It’s beautiful (comes out of her trance. Realises that he’s there) It’s not worth anything
Spotlight on BED 2
WOMAN 2: Isn’t our life together, our family, more important than anything else that goes on around us?
MAN 2: You can’t think like that...
Spotlight on BED 1
MAN 1: Nah, course not. Just sentimental value, isn’t it? Reminds you of... Africa
WOMAN 1: (distractedly) Yeah. Of Africa
MAN 1: (leans back into the bed and surveys her) Do you wanna get some breakfast now then?
Spotlight on BED 2
WOMAN 2: (emotion finally bursts out) You’re not there for me! (calms) Not really. You’re never really there.
Spotlight on BED 1
WOMAN 1: Mmm? Yeah. Yeah I’m hungry
MAN 1: (wary) So we’re getting up?
WOMAN 1: (plays with the beads) Mmm. Yeah.
