Ellie & Mickey
By Hannah Rose Owen-Wright
Synopsis:
Ellie is an intelligent (and somewhat mouthy) nineteen year old girl. Mickey is an absolute darling and her very best friend. And he doesn’t really exist.
Characters:
ELLIE
Nineteen year old English major with a great deal of social anxiety and a very active imagination.
MICKEY
Handsome, high-energy Mickey is twenty-ish. His exact age is unknown, due to the fact that he isn’t real. He’s Ellie’s imaginary friend. Rather than being a disturbing hallucination, Mickey is Ellie’s good angel, a sort of incarnated conscience that cares about what’s best for her. While Ellie is perfectly aware that she invented him, she’s not particularly bothered by the fact. He’s very good company to have.
EMMA (EM)
Ellie’s mother is torn between worrying about her own mid-life crisis and Ellie’s increasing withdrawal from her own life. She’s always had a very strong relationship with her daughter, so it worries her deeply when she struggles to communicate with Ellie.
MARIE
Em’s therapist. Age may anywhere between 35 and 50.
ANGRY WOMAN - doubled with EM.
DRIVER – doubled with MICKEY
OTHER PASSENGER – doubled with MARIE.
(Curtains open on EM. She sits alone on stage, addressing the audience directly.)
EM
I worry. I mean, we’ve always gotten on so well. Well, well enough considering she’s my daughter. No trouble - or, nothing we couldn’t handle. And I know through school and that she had her ups and downs. Never much luck making friends – but, I don’t know, she seemed cheerful enough in her own company. I thought we’d made it through the whole teenage thing intact, only to have it all fall apart now, when she’s supposed to be an adult, almost. Oh, I don’t know. She’s not here anymore. She used to be with me, but she’s always gone now. Off in her head. It just - it seems to be such a bloody big place.
(EM exits stage left. ELLIE enters stage right, following quickly. She takes Em’s place, though she brings a second chair with her, placing it directly beside the first and sits down on it, and begins addressing the audience, similarly. As she speaks, MICKEY comes on stage – also from stage right – and walks up behind her.)
ELLIE
I’m on the bus. It takes exactly thirty-five minutes to get to Uni. For most people that’d be a bit of a bore. But it’s my favourite part of the morning. The only place on the planet where it’s permissible to sit and do nothing. Just stare into space and spend some time with my thoughts.
MICKEY
What are your thoughts?
ELLIE
You are my thoughts.
MICKEY
That sounds like it ought to be romantic, but it’s really more of a – just factual. An observation.
ELLIE
Can’t it be both?
MICKEY
Could be. But you don’t really do romance.
ELLIE
Never seemed worth the bother.
MICKEY
It would involve communicating with another human being. So that’s you right out of your comfort zone.
ELLIE
I talk to people!
MICKEY
Like who?
ELLIE
Like you.
MICKEY
I’m your imaginary friend, Ellie. An aspect of your personality. I don’t count.
ELLIE
Would you just – I’m trying to construct a fourth wall here.
MICKEY
And trying to ignore your glaring personality flaws?
ELLIE
Yeah, that too. Sort of the point of a fantasy isn’t it?
MICKEY
Guess so.
ELLIE
So, how have you been?
MICKEY
You mean since you last imagined me, in the five minutes between waking and when your alarm clock went off the second time. About forty-five minutes ago? Yeah. They’ve been a great forty-five minutes. I’m sure. I wouldn’t really know, I sort of cease to exist when you stop thinking about me.
ELLIE
Mickey...
MICKEY
Mm?
ELLIE
Fourth wall.
MICKEY
Sorry. How about you?
ELLIE
What?
MICKEY
How are you?
ELLIE
Oh, you know. Same as ever. Pretty alright. Having a stress-fit about this assignment.
MICKEY
Oh – the three-thousand word essay?
ELLIE
Yup.
MICKEY
Due?
ELLIE
In two days.
MICKEY
And you started?
ELLIE
Will be started tonight. Almost definitely.
MICKEY
El ... remember how you’re supposed to sleep at some point?
ELLIE
I’ve been researching! It’s not my fault there’s always such a fuckton of research for these – shit!
(ELLIE takes a tumble forward. As she does so, MICKEY exits quickly off-stage.)
ELLIE
Oh what the hell?
(An ANGRY WOMAN in a suit strides in from stage left, yelling as she comes..)
ANGRY WOMAN
What the hell do you think you’re playing at? I just about cracked my head open on the back of the bloody seat.
DRIVER
(Yelling from off-stage.)
Who asked you? I suppose you reckon I shoulda just crunched the back o’ that car in front instead?
ELLIE
(Muttering.)
Oh bleeding bloody hell...
ANGRY WOMAN
Well if you hadn’t been driving up his bum all the way down the street -
ANOTHER PASSENGER
(Also yelling from off-stage, from the opposite side from the Driver.)
Sit down ya twit. Some of us have got somewhere to be.
ANGRY WOMAN
I’m just trying to –
ELLIE
Chill the fuck out, alright? Jesus Christ on a bloody pogo stick, I can’t hear myself think!
(The ANGRY WOMAN is, well frankly, confused. And, for a lack of an appropriate response, stalks back off stage left. As she exits, MICKEY enters.)
MICKEY
Fear the wrath of Ellie.
ELLIE
Hey, they were invading my brain-space. It’s un-groovy.
MICKEY
They should really know better.
ELLIE
Exactly.
MICKEY
For someone who hates people, you sure don’t seem to mind yelling at them.
ELLIE
I don’t hate people, they just tend to avoid me.
MICKEY
Well maybe if you didn’t yell at them –
ELLIE
Get fucked.
MICKEY
By you? Yes please.
ELLIE
Our stop, kiddo.
(Both exit stage right.)
(Beat.)
(EM walks on with MARIE.)
EM
I wouldn’t say it’s a problem. I mean, we’re happy with her living at home as long as she’s studying. But I’m not sure that she is. Well, she’s nineteen now, you know. She’s looking to stretch her wings, I guess.
(ELLIE walks in, dumping her handful of books and a way too heavy backpack on the floor.)
EM
El, do you have to leave all your stuff in the middle of the floor?
ELLIE
Hello to you too.
EM
El, this is Marie.
ELLIE
Hi. Oh – your therapist?
EM
I’ve been talking to her about some of the troubles you’ve been having lately.
ELLIE
What troubles?
EM
You know.
ELLIE
I really don’t.
EM
Look – I just – I spoke to Marie. We thought it might be good for you to have a chat with her.
ELLIE
About you being mental or me being mental?
EM
Not about being mental – I mean, you’re not mental. I’m not – just – no-one’s mental, okay?
ELLIE
Super. So if no-one’s mental then no-one needs a shrink, yeah? [To Marie] No offence.
MARIE
None taken. Why don’t we sit down.
ELLIE
Listen, I’m not – I’m sure you’re very good at your job. I just don’t like being cornered like this.
MARIE
Cornered?
ELLIE
This – you, showing up and staging an intervention.
MARIE
If I thought you objected to my being here...
ELLIE
I didn’t have the opportunity to object. No-one told me you were coming.
MARIE
Ah. Is that so?
ELLIE
Yes. Yes it is so.
EM
I thought if I told you – well, I knew you’d react like this.
ELLIE
Insightful.
EM
But I thought if maybe you met Marie – she’s really very good at –
ELLIE
I’m sure she is. But I don’t – I’m going out.
(ELLIE exits the way she came, leaving her things littering the stage.)
EM
Where are you going?
ELLIE
(Off-stage)
Out.
MARIE
She didn’t know I was coming?
EM
She would have said no.
MARIE
That was her decision to make.
EM
I just – I want her back. It’s like she disappears off into her own head for days and I – I can’t reach her anymore. She comes home and she goes to bed. I don’t think she’s even sleeping she just lies there. I think she’s hiding from something. From me.
MARIE
I’m pretty sure it won’t be about you.
EM
Then what? She’s nineteen. We should be past this.
MARIE
Do you know what ‘this’ is?
EM
No.
MARIE
Then how do you know you should be past it? And besides, nineteen is young. Particularly when you’re still living at home.
EM
But – she’s building this huge wall to keep me out and –
MARIE
Of course she is, she’s trying to grow up.
EM
I wish she wouldn’t.
(beat)
EM (cont’n)
Did you want another coffee?
MARIE
Lord, no. I’ll hit the roof if I get any more caffeine.
EM
Tea?
MARIE
I think I’ll get going. Get home early for a change. So I’ll see you Tuesday?
EM
Yeah. Have a good weekend.
MARIE
You too.
(She exits. EM stays for a moment, then picks up Ellie’s things and exits.)
(Pause.)
(ELLIE stalks onto the stage, followed closely by MICKEY.)
MICKEY
Where are you going?
ELLIE
I was coming to see you.
MICKEY
You see me everywhere. Where are you going?
ELLIE
If I’m walking, no-one’s asking me what I’m doing. Why I’m staring straight ahead and saying nothing. Apparently it’s strange enough to ask about – just doing nothing. What’s wrong with just having a think, anyway?
MICKEY
There’s thinking, and there’s fantasising. What are you doing?
ELLIE
What’s the difference?
MICKEY
Well, I think it’s mostly to do with relative levels of mental stability.
ELLIE
Says who?
MICKEY
The people who know about this stuff? I don’t know...
ELLIE
No, it’s like - cogito ergo sum.
MICKEY
Ellie...
ELLIE
Yeah ‘cause it’s this -
MICKEY
I think therefore I am. And?
ELLIE
And nothing. That’s the idea. Real is nothing. We could be nothing more than floating thought-bubbles and we can’t prove otherwise.
MICKEY
You wanna know what I think, El?
ELLIE
I dunno, do I?
MICKEY
I think you’ve watched The Matrix too many fucking times.
ELLIE
No you don’t. That’s what other people would think. But you’re with me.
MICKEY
I’m not with you, El, I am you. I don’t think anything at all, actually, it’s only you. I don’t think, therefore I’m not. I don’t know the latin for that, ‘cause you only took French.
ELLIE
But I – I think you into existence. I make you real because you’re real to me.
MICKEY
I don’t know that that’s how it works, El
ELLIE
You don’t seem to know much, then, do you?
MICKEY
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
ELLIE
If you’re my fantasy, then don’t you have to do what I want?
MICKEY
Guess so.
ELLIE
Then why aren’t you?
MICKEY
Do you know what you want?
ELLIE
I want you.
MICKEY
You’ve got me. And what else?
ELLIE
And nothing else.
MICKEY
I’m afraid that’s not an option. Deny it all you like, life is still happening to you.
ELLIE
Can it go away?
MICKEY
No. So what do you want to do about it?
ELLIE
I guess we go home.
(She stand still for moment, not quite willing to move. MICKEY takes her shoulders, twirls her round and lightly marches her off-stage.)
(EM wanders on stage clutching a coffee cup. She looks as though she might be trying to read her future in the ballooning swirls of milk. She puts it on the floor and lies down next to it, flat across the stage.)
ELLIE
(Off-stage)
Mum?
EM
(Without moving.)
Mhm.
ELLIE
(as she enters)
Where are – Um. Why?
EM
Why what?
ELLIE
Why are you lying on the floor?
EM
Because I felt like it. Why did you go wandering off in the cold and dark?
ELLIE
Because I felt like it.
EM
My back was aching.
ELLIE
My brain was aching.
(EM gives a giggle, and sits up.)
EM
C’mere.
ELLIE
Why?
EM
Because I want a hug.
ELLIE
Oh, mum...
EM
I am your mother, do as I say. I demand a cuddle.
ELLIE
Oh for –
EM
Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuddle...
ELLIE
I –
EM
Cuddle!
(EM stretches her arms forward, rather like a child demanding to be carried. Defeated, ELLIE sits down next to her, curling up under her arm.)
EM
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung Marie on you like that. I just worry, you know. It’s not my fault. I’m your mum, I’m biologically wired to be deeply concerned for you at all times. Frankly it’s rather tiring and I wish I could stop but there you are.
ELLIE
But I’m fine. What are you even –
EM
Don’t give me that shit, El. You haven’t been here in months.
ELLIE
I’ve been living here; I’ve been here every bloody day!
EM
No need to sound so thrilled...
ELLIE
Mama...
EM
Oh I know. I know you want to leave me, that’s fine.
ELLIE
Not you, just –
EM
I know. I know. You know I just –
ELLIE
I know.
EM
You’re not fine.
ELLIE
I am.
EM
I know when you’ve been crying.
ELLIE
So? I’m just – it’s not a thing, it’s just stuff...
EM
That clarifies everything.
ELLIE
Good.
EM
You can tell me.
ELLIE
There’s nothing. I don’t know, I don’t – I just – I don’t even know.
EM
You’re just all full of buzzing.
ELLIE
Yeah, exactly. My head’s just full of white noise and I can’t think. It just – do you know?
EM
I know.
ELLIE
Why is it like that?
EM
Because you’re mental.
ELLIE
Oh good. So we’re both just mental.
EM
Hey, I’m menopausal. What’s your excuse?
ELLIE
Don’t have one. Just plain batty.
(Pause.)
EM
Where do you go? When you disappear back in your head like that?
ELLIE
Oh, I’m usually just talking to Mickey.
EM
Who?
ELLIE
He’s my imaginary friend.
EM
Aren’t you a bit old to have an imaginary friend?
ELLIE
Probably. But he’s good company.
EM
You are the weirdest child.
ELLIE
I know.
(Curtains draw across them.)
END.
